Don't get caught up in the "What If's"

Hey folks,

“’For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’’

- Jeremiah 29:11

It took two years for me to get pregnant. It took two years of doctor’s appointments, ovulation plans, menstruation tracking, and rounds of medications.  It was two years of negative pregnancy tests, crying, disappointment, feelings of failure, and depression. So when that blue plus sign finally appeared, I KNEW in my soul that God had heard my broken heart and that little baby growing in my belly was a definite gift from Him.

A newborn Nugget

After my baby girl was born, life had, of course, changed dramatically.  My husband and I worked hard every day to get this whole parenting thing down, and somewhere around the 9-month mark, we had reached a parenting peak.  Let me tell you… We had the routine down pat. She was sleeping 12+ hours a night and still napped 2-3 times a day.  Not only that, she was hitting every milestone like a champ, and by this point, she was even walking! The house was clean. The dishes would get done. The laundry was even neatly folded (and sometimes put away…). We, as a family, were totally in sync, and at this point, life was great.

Nugget's first Halloween

Living off this new found high, on a drive to go shopping alone, I just started thanking God for the opportunity to even be a parent. There was a time in my life that I didn’t even believe it would be possible, and deep down in my heart, I wanted more children, and I felt like we were ready. So, I began to present this request to Him, and immediately, He brought the question to my heart, “What if there are no more?” My…. heart… broke…

I couldn’t stop the tears from streaming down my face. Just the thought that I might not be able to have another child was devastating, and in that moment, a thousand thoughts began to run through my mind: My husband and I were in a healthy and loving marriage. We were completely financially stable. We had an amazing support system of friends and family. We had more than enough room. We had every baby gadget available. We were (somewhat) experienced and knowledgeable. But most of all, our house was filled with so much love… Why wouldn’t we have another child??

Nugget's first trip to the Grand Canyon

Nugget's first trip to the San Diego Zoo

I knew that I was at a crossroads. I could either trust God’s plan for my life, or I could use this as a reason to be angry with Him and to add it to a list of obstacles that have been hindering my faith.  Truth is He gave me a child when I didn’t think it was possible. He gave me a beautiful, healthy, rambunctious bundle of joy. Truth is He gave me opportunities to be a “stand-in” mother and big sister for so many broken-hearted teenagers, who, now in their twenties, still love on me, call me, talk to me about their problems, and make it a point to come visit me when I come home to Georgia.  Truth is there is a bigger plan for my life, and although I have no idea what the completed picture looks like, I am promised that it’s filled with hope and prosperity.

If another child is in my future, rock on, but if not, I refuse to let that be a stumbling block for my faith.  I am thankful for the opportunities He has given me, and I won’t make my “what if’s” be a reason to be ungrateful for the blessings that are in my life now.  I KNOW there are plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me hope and a future, and I know there is still more to come.

Arg! Don't ye worry about ye future!

So, my friends, whatever you’re facing currently, know that you’ve got a future too, and it’s filled with hope. Don’t get caught up in what you may not have. Get caught up in what you’ve been given, and know that He’ll take care of the rest.

Well, folks, that’s all I’ve got to say for now. I’ll be seeing y’all soon! Until then, take care!

Sincerely,
Heather